Today I am 13 dpo and I have just discovered something else I can check all day and obsess over until I see if that dreaded witch will make an appearance in the next day or two…the position of my cervix! What? I know. I have never really been one to physically explore and take note of what’s going on inside my vajayjay, but now I have a reason.
I still have roadmap veins throughout my bbs and nips, but the question of whether they are darker in color is still under constant scrutiny. I roped Josh into helping me check daily, and since we’ve had this weekend off together, I keep asking him to stop and look at them. The last time I asked him to come look with me, he made a face and looked at the clock. How sad are you when you force your husband to look at your breasts so often he would rather do something else? It made me feel awful and silly. So he now has a reprieve, I’ll just go in the bathroom and check my cervix 14 times today!
Josh has this weekend off and we have been making some radical changes throughout the house. We’ve started cleaning out the front room (that I pray will someday soon be a nursery), and hope to be done with the primary color painting by this evening. I’m also going through and getting rid of lots and lots of junk and clothes. It’s so hard, but more important things are to come and we need more room!!!!
I think my biggest fear right now, if I do in fact start my period in the next few days, is that we missed our window because of my trip to California. I know that not a lot of couples get pregnant their first round of Clomid, and I know that so many women are obsessively going through exactly what I am. The thought of going through this every month is a little disheartening and my heart goes out to those women who have been going through this every month for years. I’m 35 years old now, and I know that my days are becoming numbered and that it just won’t be as easy as it would have been 10 years ago, but I am more ready now than I ever have been. I have a husband who loves me, and who I love, more than I ever could have imagined. He is my best friend and I could not make it through this without him. No matter the outcome, my life will be happy and full with him for the rest of my life.
I just noticed something...Josh's old lava lamp is behind the computer. We found out last night that it still works! Now that I have been internetically educated on what my cervix looks like and the various places it moves, the lava in this lamp looks exactly like a bunch of floating cervixes...weird.
I still have roadmap veins throughout my bbs and nips, but the question of whether they are darker in color is still under constant scrutiny. I roped Josh into helping me check daily, and since we’ve had this weekend off together, I keep asking him to stop and look at them. The last time I asked him to come look with me, he made a face and looked at the clock. How sad are you when you force your husband to look at your breasts so often he would rather do something else? It made me feel awful and silly. So he now has a reprieve, I’ll just go in the bathroom and check my cervix 14 times today!
Josh has this weekend off and we have been making some radical changes throughout the house. We’ve started cleaning out the front room (that I pray will someday soon be a nursery), and hope to be done with the primary color painting by this evening. I’m also going through and getting rid of lots and lots of junk and clothes. It’s so hard, but more important things are to come and we need more room!!!!
I think my biggest fear right now, if I do in fact start my period in the next few days, is that we missed our window because of my trip to California. I know that not a lot of couples get pregnant their first round of Clomid, and I know that so many women are obsessively going through exactly what I am. The thought of going through this every month is a little disheartening and my heart goes out to those women who have been going through this every month for years. I’m 35 years old now, and I know that my days are becoming numbered and that it just won’t be as easy as it would have been 10 years ago, but I am more ready now than I ever have been. I have a husband who loves me, and who I love, more than I ever could have imagined. He is my best friend and I could not make it through this without him. No matter the outcome, my life will be happy and full with him for the rest of my life.
I just noticed something...Josh's old lava lamp is behind the computer. We found out last night that it still works! Now that I have been internetically educated on what my cervix looks like and the various places it moves, the lava in this lamp looks exactly like a bunch of floating cervixes...weird.
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