The past couple of days at work have been fast paced 12 hour long exhausting days. I didn’t use commas in that sentence because lately there have been no commas in my day. With my body doing weird Clomid things, it’s certainly made life more interesting throughout the day. I was very tired last night and climbed into bed about two hours later than I had hoped. It was a little chilly in our room and as I crawled under the sheets I made this comment to Josh, “I hope the hot flashes come back again soon so I can warm up.” Well, I would like to formally redact that statement. I made this declaration to Josh at about 3:30am. I didn’t think he heard me, so I woke him up and told him again.
I sometimes wonder how in the world any of us made it through life without the knowledge power of the internet. I am a Google-maniac. I love researching. Any question or interest I have, I always check out what the internet community has to say about it; the more information and stories and experiences I can find, the better. I don’t know what I would have done the past several weeks had it not been for the internet. I have found so many women who have gone through exactly what Josh and I have been going through. My heart goes out to every single woman whose stories and experiences I have read. It’s very comforting to know that I’m not alone.
After my lab work, blood test, sonogram, Josh’s lab work, my (terribly painful) HSG all came back normal (with the exception of the HSG – I had one slightly blocked tube that opened up during the test), Dr. S said we would start Clomid. “I’m sorry what was that?” I asked using my best infomercial imitation. “Clomid,” Dr. S confidently replied. “It’s a fertility drug that will give your ovaries a little ovulation booster.”
“Fertility drug,” I pondered. Hmmmm….My only knowledge of fertility drugs were of octomoms, john-plus-kates, and the like. In all honesty, I really didn’t have that much knowledge about my entire reproductive system. From the beginning of all of this, I stumbled through the medical questions they asked me, not knowing many of the terms they were using or what they were even asking me. I could probably calculate the math behind the control systems of the sonogram equipment they used, but ask me a medical question and you will not get an intelligent response. I even showed up for my sonogram (cycle day 1) unshaven and wearing a tampon because I thought they were just going to rub some gel on my belly and run that scanner around over my ‘above surface’ uterine area to check things out. I didn’t find out that Dr. S was going subsurface until they were all in the room and I had a sheet wrapped around my lower half. I had to get back off the table and run to the restroom. I kept wondering why I had to undress!
It’s so comforting to know that lots of women are going through what I am. It’s comforting to know that I have a husband who loves me and is going through all of this with me – every second of it. It’s comforting to know that God is with me through all of the pain and uncomfortable circumstances. My faith is in Him. He knows what is best and He is preparing us for what He has in store.
Psalm 27:13, "I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." (NKJV)
God Bless!
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