Saturday, May 15, 2010

Only one thing...

"You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42 (NIV)

I AM worried and upset about things. Obviously so, or I wouldn't be taking medication for it! One of the hardest things to do is to turn your worries over to the Lord. When I worry about things, I guess I feel that as long as I have it first and foremost in my mind, then it's still mine and by constantly and greviously rolling it over in my mind I can somehow get control over it. Of course that's ridiculous. The best thing I can do it turn it over to the Lord and trust that whatever the outcome, God will get me through it. Whatever the outcome, God has a plan. I know that he will use every single moment of my life - good or bad - for his glory. Nothing I have ever said or done has been wasted. Because either a lesson has been learned, I can comfort someone going through siminar tribulations...there are any number of circumstances that only someone who has been experienced it will understand - good and bad.

After this past week of thinking I was pregnant, I spent every single second being aware of the fact that I might be pregnant. It was wonderful. I felt younger, I felt like a full and lucious woman, I felt calmer, I felt blessed, I felt such incredible tenderness, excitement and security from Josh and this, coming from a man who already makes me feel beautiful, safe and loved. It was a wonderful 5 days. Tomorrow I start taking Clomid. I am excited about the prospect of another month of trying for a baby. I am a little nervous too. I want to feel that again. So I am praying that I can turn this over to God. I pray that I will be strong and accepting of what he has in store. And at the same time, I pray that I become pregnant soon.

This bible verse is another perfect reminder for me. I do have lots of things that I am worried about - but there is only one thing that is needed..and that is faith in God that He has a plan for me and for Josh.

God Bless!

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